At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We are all done wearing pants today
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
