At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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