Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
