She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it hurts more in the daytime
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
