morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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