what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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