my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
