i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I cut my penus on the lid.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
