in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
