Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Screwed.edu
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
