wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
