Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
