see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
