I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
