was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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