It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
