college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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