I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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