There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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