I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i think my mom watched the whole time
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
