i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
