guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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