just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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