I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
3 2 1 whiskey
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
