could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
