Pappa wants mamma naked
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
