You just made me feel so damn special
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Randomize