weddingsv make me drug and hornr
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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