Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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