Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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