i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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