She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
