Whod you bang
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
