i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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