Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
