i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
