I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
