yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
