quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
