Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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