I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
