we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
