I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
