Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize