carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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