i think my tv is drunk
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
