google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
