You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
