We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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