She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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