I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
We named our party play list daddy issues
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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