the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize