It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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