Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
