I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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