would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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