jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
