Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
