Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
