I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
