Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
