Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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