just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
