shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
