Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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