if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
