i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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