he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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