Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
